Since the last full moon I’ve been sleeping so deep, I wake up with migraines. Completely agonizing physical pain represented by undesirable places while my eyes are closed tight and my mind is lost in the same maze every time I dream. Giving literal meaning of the phrase ‘hard-headed’.
I tend to move fast through life; chasing ideas my heart wants to transform into reality. The problem with moving at that pace is, of not careful – you are more likely to fall down if you aren’t paying attention. Paying attention to your tired and weary self that is in desperate need of some rest and reflection.
Which sometimes leads to over committing, not saying no when it’s in our absolute best interest, FOMO; seems to be a generational plague that has fallen over us because we are all too afraid of falling behind in the race. Riddling us with anxiety and chasing us away from accepting present moments.
While moving fast I have fallen out of some good habits:
I’ve stopped journaling because I don’t have time.
I don’t exercise anymore because I really need that extra 30 minutes of sleep in the morning(which turns into 60).
Our home is less tidy at the end of the night even though it drives me crazy.
It’s these things that have me working harder at taking back ownership of my life and standing in my truth.
This is literally one of the most powerful stages of growth I’ve experienced. I’m challenging myself to observe things through a different set of lenses. For instance; I find that I am a person who would reject interactions with those people who just weren’t on the same frequency as me. You probably won’t think there is anything wrong with that. In most times I would agree, there’s not much the matter with it. But I’m trying to switch my method a little and face that fear of the unknown; the possibility of conflict or rejection. I have to say, it is far less stressful to face it than to keep thinking about it and let it grow to a sizeable problem that you have no control over and ultimately turns into something you had no intention to create.
In these dreams I’ve mentioned, is where I’ve been confronting some of the biggest obstacles that have been eating away at my not only my psyche but my daily life and my relationships. I was planning on keeping the dreams to myself but if you know me… well then, there’s no point in me pretending to not have skeletons sitting right on my living room couch.
It is a conflicting space when being happy to pursue a legacy you chose out of the pocket of your heart, yet worry about not spending enough time with family and taking an interest outside of your own. I don’t take care of my health – mind and body – the way I should. I miss books, really good bendable, smelly, wordy books. I lose really important things that create more bills and unnecessary time spent. I’ve stopped telling people about it because they laugh, and for me it’s a serious fucking problem. I spoke out loud weeks ago that I desire to be more mindful, my dreams have been forcing me on to that path.
You are going to want things so badly that you will do anything to obtain them. As you manifest and create the life you want, it is an absolute must that you seek balance through that process. Seek balance to help you stay rooted. Feet firmly pressed to the bare ground and soul light in weight so you have the greatest vantage point of where your journey leads. Without that type of awareness, one would go nowhere very fast.
Breathe deep. Dream often.