Authentically Aligned Synchronicity

Let’s talk about building your entire self up organically; or what I also refer to as, “doing the work”. This is a practice, a practice of raw radical self-care that doesn’t come in the form of external gratification(or maybe sometimes it does but let’s focus on the soul). These are ideas that can sometimes be painful to explore. We tend to go through life shielding, escaping and evading. Avoiding all the truths we have to endure to find out what we stand for.

Discovering who you are and what footprint you want to leave in your community is crucial to finding your voice. We can chose to follow the beaten path and be left with the sad truth that we have not become familiar with the person that matters most in our lives, self. We see it everyday in social media or even in day to day interactions as we repost and share ideas that were presented to us but never taking the time to develop and assess what those ideas mean to us.

One of the best ways to start this process is by evaluating your own ideas and how they support you in your journey of creativity. From the very beginning of our thoughtful selves, it is the basis of imagination that shows us what things are possible through the most inventive ways of play. Teaching us how to solve problems, reflect on bigger and better possibilities; the driving forces in helping us to create over and over again an absolutely fulfilling life. Now does it make sense why your parents were hell bent on asking “how could you be bored!?” We are responsible for the light we bring to our own lives.

Our own imaginations are what builds our authenticity. It is the place in our minds where dreams exist in the most magical way. Only we can bring the moments to fruition. This is what makes us endearingly unique. We shouldn’t shy away from sharing that very eccentric part of us. It absolutely saddens me when I hear people say “ I don’t have a creative bone in my body”. I will forever believe this to be a lie. If we consistently compare ourselves to others, and their own ideas of what makes them special – we’ve already lost because we had the audacity to measure our own successes based on someone else’s blue print that we had absolutely nothing to do with. Authenticity starts and ends from within.

How do we support our own growth journeys as we start to bridge them with others? That my friends is alignment. A person who understands who they are, tends to make better decisions on who they come into agreement with. Whether it be in a friendship, intimate partnership, or business relationship. After all, how can one decide what’s best for them if they can’t offer that same reflection with self? It can be a difficult task to stay true to your own ethos; especially in such a comparative time. We all want to know what the next person is doing, just maybe they got it right better than all of us. W R O N G. They got it right for themselves. Then. And only then my friends, did their lives seemingly fall into a better alignment with their surroundings. You gotta do, what’s right for you.

Now. Let’s talk about the magic of synchronicity! I want to share a little anecdote of Isabel’s and my day last weekend:

It started off as a somewhat rough morning. Dealing with personal affairs and coming to the conclusion that we were losing steam with our ventures. No real motivation was coming to the surface. That didn’t stop us from setting out on our morning meet and great with someone we had been admiring and decided to approach about being apart of Dream Broad. What an experience! We had an amazing exchange, filled with hope, support and all of the gems we needed to push us into the next part of our day where we were going to be vending at the Sac Library downtown. We decided to stop off for coffee. Lowe and behold we run into another familiar face who’s divine purpose was to encourage us and give us all the props for what we have been doing. Primarily telling us, do not quit. Keep going. Off we went. At the event, we had a visit from one of our community sisters that was truly inspiring and encouraging. Out of that interaction came ideas for our next 2 events. Our day and hearts were completely full.

Keep thugin’ it out family. Take the time to build a relationship with yourself, so you can have stronger relationships in your community. It will lead to a purposeful life.

Since the last full moon I’ve been sleeping so deep, I wake up with migraines. Completely agonizing physical pain represented by undesirable places while my eyes are closed tight and my mind is lost in the same maze every time I dream. Giving literal meaning of the phrase ‘hard-headed’.

I tend to move fast through life; chasing ideas my heart wants to transform into reality. The problem with moving at that pace is, of not careful – you are more likely to fall down if you aren’t paying attention. Paying attention to your tired and weary self that is in desperate need of some rest and reflection.

Which sometimes leads to over committing, not saying no when it’s in our absolute best interest, FOMO; seems to be a generational plague that has fallen over us because we are all too afraid of falling behind in the race. Riddling us with anxiety and chasing us away from accepting present moments.

While moving fast I have fallen out of some good habits:

I’ve stopped journaling because I don’t have time.
I don’t exercise anymore because I really need that extra 30 minutes of sleep in the morning(which turns into 60).
Our home is less tidy at the end of the night even though it drives me crazy.

It’s these things that have me working harder at taking back ownership of my life and standing in my truth.

This is literally one of the most powerful stages of growth I’ve experienced. I’m challenging myself to observe things through a different set of lenses. For instance; I find that I am a person who would reject interactions with those people who just weren’t on the same frequency as me. You probably won’t think there is anything wrong with that. In most times I would agree, there’s not much the matter with it. But I’m trying to switch my method a little and face that fear of the unknown; the possibility of conflict or rejection. I have to say, it is far less stressful to face it than to keep thinking about it and let it grow to a sizeable problem that you have no control over and ultimately turns into something you had no intention to create.

In these dreams I’ve mentioned, is where I’ve been confronting some of the biggest obstacles that have been eating away at my not only my psyche but my daily life and my relationships. I was planning on keeping the dreams to myself but if you know me… well then, there’s no point in me pretending to not have skeletons sitting right on my living room couch.

It is a conflicting space when being happy to pursue a legacy you chose out of the pocket of your heart, yet worry about not spending enough time with family and taking an interest outside of your own. I don’t take care of my health – mind and body – the way I should. I miss books, really good bendable, smelly, wordy books. I lose really important things that create more bills and unnecessary time spent. I’ve stopped telling people about it because they laugh, and for me it’s a serious fucking problem. I spoke out loud weeks ago that I desire to be more mindful, my dreams have been forcing me on to that path.

You are going to want things so badly that you will do anything to obtain them. As you manifest and create the life you want, it is an absolute must that you seek balance through that process. Seek balance to help you stay rooted. Feet firmly pressed to the bare ground and soul light in weight so you have the greatest vantage point of where your journey leads. Without that type of awareness, one would go nowhere very fast.

Breathe deep. Dream often.

Vol. 4 Star Quality

Josiah Gonzales, Featured Dreamer and avid renaissance man. If anyone knows how to chase dreams and tackle them down, it’s this guy. Blessed are we to be the ones he embeds his big brother wisdom on. Glad are we that he is our first male dreamer. As a designer of all things in his life – Josiah gives us a personal look into his cool demeanor and how he’s taken charge of the things he loves.

Rooted

Rooted

Last week, I was in one of my favorite happy places communing with a group of beautiful women and a conversation I wasn’t even aware I needed to have arrived in our space. A conversation around showing up for yourself, growing out of self-love in a new present feminine kind of way. We were all wanderlusters of some measure who had looked for the place that felt like we were connected, like that place wanted us back as much as we wanted it.


I finally realized through our profoundly generous  exchange of stories, through everyone’s  eyes and hearts; that home is what you make it. These feelings extend to sentiments around community and career; places where you pour your self into others. It’s how you choose to mold your surroundings and I think for such a long time, I was so unhappy because I felt like things happened to me and I wasn’t in control of those events or the people I felt were causing them. So in certain ways, I kind of shut off or cut off relationships just because I knew they weren’t serving me. Some of what I did, spot on wouldn’t change a thing. Others, I wish I would have explored healthier ways of disconnecting because the emotions connected to those instances left me angry or disappointed. Making it a little harder to heal or regain the confidence it took to hold my head high. I finally find myself in a place where I am elated with the work I’ve  done and can start knocking on those doors that hold possibilities for me.


Possibilities foster hope. This statement alone brings a sparkle to my heart and butterflies in my tummy. I am looking at myself and my surroundings with new lenses. Falling in love with being able to recognize goodness and purpose. I wasn’t taking the time to acknowledge my growth. I hear about it, I see it but I didn’t take the time to be thankful for this favor I’ve been blessed with.


I understand fully and accept that home is what you make it and it starts from with in. I have so much gratitude for new friendships and mentorships from an unlikely people that want to see me win. It’s reciprocity for me showing up with good intentions and surrounding myself with genuine connections. I am seeing that no matter what, your happiness comes from within.  I’m able to move with a little bit of peace and a sound mind. Being rooted from within feels good.

Home was and always is, within every single one of us.

Breaking Barriers: The Beauty Edition

Breaking Barriers: The Beauty Edition

Simply put, I want to tell you all how transitioning my hair to it’s most natural state helped me remove and break barriers that I had been trying to get a hold of for years but I just couldn’t make any headway. 


Let me start by explaining what transitioning really means in case this is a new term. A lot of women with curly, kinky hair go through a process of relaxation to get soft straight manageable hair. This is called a relaxer, or most comedically known as ‘Creamy Crack’. Less time doing your hair, no one makes fun of you in school, and now you fit the beauty standard set by society. But, what does this do to some people? Or more pointedly, what did it do to me?


I got to a point where if I didn’t have hair extensions or relaxers – I didn’t know what to do with myself. It became my costume. I even had ridiculous thoughts like if I didn’t look on point, everyone was going to talk about me and I was gonna be miserable as a result. You know why? As a kid some really close friends did exactly this. So at 14, I established a learned behavior about how I presented myself to the world. 


I took these behaviors with me in my professional carrier. Always hiding this big secret. One time I was told I looked like Beyoncé. I laughed so hard out loud because I thought it was the most ridiculous thing. Inside, I said “hells yes”. The world was sending confirmation that I looked like a package. Why did I need that validation from people that don’t know my heart? Or my story? I had no idea. I just knew for a long time that I wanted to be pretty. And pretty looked like everyone else, to me.


Fast forward to a new job. Where now my look was bringing me attention but not how I wanted it. You know, look beautiful but still be a wallflower. You don’t want anyone to say anything to you about it but just to see it is enough. That’s not how it was going. I had a male coworker who liked men so he didn’t give a damn about me in that sense, but he always made comments about my look. He gave his approval and disapproval whenever his mouth felt the urge. Next to him, was an older white woman who also felt the need to take this route.


By now, maybe even a little before them – I was starting to reject chemically processing my hair because I became a mother and didn’t want those chemicals in my body, let alone my child’s during an already high risk preganancy. I danced with the idea of what would happen if I stopped paying $$$$$$ (yes, a lot) for these things I’ve begun to associate with as improving my look?

I blew people’s minds when I walked in one morning with my natural hair. Some didn’t care,  some thought it was awesome and the two from above couldn’t not say anything:


“ I have a black friend, she has a hairstylist. Would you like their number?”

“Why’d you do that to your hair?”


Almost crushed at this point. But still standing. 


I went home and made a video saying I will not conform to someone else’s standards. 


Being on this journey, has built me up from the inside. I feel good about me. Finally, it’s not because I was trying to look like or be someone else. I started paying attention to myself. Discovering that my hair should be cared for with love, natural products and it will flourish. All of that has transitioned into the way I live life, the way I raise my child, how I support my husband and my family. 


I am thankful for being grounded in the best way that I know how and it being from a place of complete submission and authenticity to my truest self. This abundance I’ve been searching for could only have come from me finding my own way and not trying to blaze someone else’s trail. Going on a loc journey was everything I imagined and more. Even on my worst hair days, I still feel beautiful because there is so much more to me than I ever could have imagined. 


Be inspired to be your whole self.

V.3 She’s Got The Juice

Maker and Creative – heart, mind, and soul. Akilah Interviews her Co-Founding Bestie of Blooming Dreamers on her dreams and passions. Owner of Lebasi Photography, Isabel Gonzales shares her love for capturing photos through Environmental Portraiture and what she wants people to know about her relationship to her craft. Click the link below and follow us on SoundCloud.

V.3 She’s Got The Juice

Navigating Impostor Syndrome

Navigating Impostor Syndrome

I initially saw this post representing some form of expertise, citing intellectual science papers and well known psychologist. However, I think we have all had enough of the over complication of this phenomenon. We hear the words a lot these days, even though the term was coined well over 40 years ago by mental health practitioners – it comes up almost everyday like it was introduced a short time ago. Impostor Syndrome has everything to do with self and what’s happening on the inside. Or is it really that simple?

Arguably, the conditions in which this particular syndrome develops in a human being is spread wide across the spectrum. Therefore, making it damn near impossible for someone to quickly identify the simple fact that they may have feelings around being undeserving of the success they experience.  These ideas lead me to share some personal feelings on what that looks like and how I navigate that uncomfortable space.

For such a long time I let people and circumstances decide what I was capable of doing. I’m not entirely sure how I molded my thinking, but I’m sure it started in the 4th grade. Being ranked against school mates, meaningless testing, introduction of puberty, the divide of the ‘who’s who’ on the playground that has now become a platform for observing differences; really I can go on. All of these things have to do with a lovely feeling  of confidence.

I was never short of extracurriculars on the schedule. Band, volleyball, cheerleading, art and dance we’re apart of my life for over a decade. I loved being a part of them but sometimes, it was a bit hard. I’m a firm believer that representation matters, when we don’t see a lot of people that look like us, or aren’t accepted by many people that meet those same qualifications – things sometimes feel a little bit lonely. Confidence in these instances, lacks a bit. Sometimes it’s over compensated with a false confidence leading people to believe you’re fine when really, you need the ear of someone who understands your challenges and who holds your hand through them.

This is where college got fun. All that life experience boosted me, my connections with people and new ideas were forming and I was really excited about them. I found what I loved most in this phase of my life – psychology, philanthropy, journalism and business. I honestly thought to myself – “This is impossible, no one likes all of these things.” I had a passion for them that conflicted with the model of 1 major, 1 minor or at most a double major. I convinced myself that my goals were unrealistic and therefore I was confused and lost. I gave up here.

I would love to write fast forward here, but there is too much juice so I’ll keep it short. A career choice I would learn later to be not at all in line with any of my loves, a marriage to my best friend, some devastating life events; all lead me back to face myself and inspired me to live wholly and outright. I started emerging myself in all my true loves again in the name of self-care; psychology, philanthropy, journalism and business. Reading books, discovering new ways to make myself happy, meeting new people, conversing and sharing common interest. I, in short was developing in all areas I held near and dear. The time came where Isabel and I were discussing what we wanted from life again and then came Blooming Dreamers. From there we developed relationships and aligned ourselves with peers and mentors who were in these same fields. Without saying it, we were molding our expertise.

Reality check; how in the world can I look at myself as someone suffering from impostor syndrome when I am doing all of the things it would take for me to become well versed in becoming an expert? Maybe it’s the social media culture we live in or the performance appraisal hysteria we face around this time of year. Either way we were raised to seek out validation. Some of us I might even reach to say, I heard the words impostor syndrome and made up an excuse as to why we just weren’t doing well in life. Let us not fall victim to the placebo effect, or read our ways out of following our dreams.

My goal is to always be constructive and productive. To read up on things that will educate me in all my endeavors. To reach out and embrace new experiences. To live like this is my shot and I’m going for it. In order for me or any of you to move through paralysis, we have to reframe our thought processes by finding new ways to approach challenges. Finding circles that support my dreams and goals has been absolutely crucial in showing me that anything is possible.

If you want more fascinating info in an extremely tasteful and informative perspective, check out Matt O’ Keefe’s take here:

https://www.comicsbeat.com/impostor-syndrome/amp/

With that, I wish us all the best success and I cannot wait to hear your stories of how you conquered your fears of success.