I Called, The Therapist Answered

The last few months have been a bit of a whirlwind personally and professionally. No matter what I did – I was obsessing over my decisions and experiencing all types of physical symptoms. My stress was growing and my body was paying the price. The two worlds decided to intertwine and it was less like two ribbons dancing in the wind, and more like two big rigs crashing into each other while speeding down a slippery mountain pass. Dramatic? I know. 


I made an executive decision to sit in silence for a minute and think about the things that were truly bothering me. I journaled, made list, read books and came to a solution. I figured it’s not acceptable to let my stress and anxiety run loose on the people I love. It was time to reign it in but I really had no clear direction on where to start breaking cycles. I called a therapist that my girlfriend recommended and it was the best decision I could have made. 


The very first meeting with her, I showed up and had no idea what to expect. The lobby was a 10 ft hallway that seemed to lengthen itself the longer I stood in the doorway trying to figure out if I was in the right place. She finally came out to greet me; tall, sweet and warm. The LMFT quickly gave me her speech about confidentiality and asked me why I came to see her. I smiled through my troubles the first five minutes and then cried the next ninety-five. 


I left her office with my next appointment already scheduled. Even though I took her all over the map of my thirty-two-year life journey and explained my dozens of speculations as to how I ended up right there in her chair, she gave me a short list of ideas and concepts to think about. I thought, “wow, what a relief”. I was finally able to share with someone ALL of my feelings.  Someone who was able to help me untangle knots and create some sort of line of reasoning and helped me find the words to build crucial language. The language I needed to communicate at work and at home. 


I started to feel different. I was looking at situations with new lenses. The things that were driving me crazy about scenarios at work, became puzzles that I was happy to sort out. The conversations I didn’t want to have at home seemed less intimidating. I was building my tool kit. Communication was one of the main fundamentals that were becoming sharpened. Somewhere between the end of week one and the beginning of my second week, emotions started to resurface and I felt ill prepared to face anything seemingly negative. 


My second therapy appointment was here and I didn’t want to go. I was ashamed that I was feeling sad and not proud of myself that day. Silly feelings when I look back on it, but the primary characteristic of my work ethic is being accountable. For way too many reasons to list in this edition, I’ve always worried about what people think. It translates in different ways but it manifests itself as a bitch fit or some other inappropriate form of expression when conflict arises. I was growing tired of that and knew it wasn’t an acceptable approach at working through things with my family or professionally. 


This time I noticed my appointment was more focused. Less homework and more acute in helping me get through some of those challenges that were coming up more frequently. Here I am a week later, and it’s honestly the best week I have had in such a long time. Despite more disappointing news in a couple areas, I’m dealing with unfavorable surprises better. The dynamics in my household are settling into some sort of normalcy and it feels really good to stop blaming outside forces for my unhappiness. 


Needing to speak to a professional about how to sort out the issues you are facing in whatever areas of your life, is not something to be ashamed of. I am speaking very loudly to proud women and minorities at this moment because for some reason we do not go. We do not go and some of our life stressors are flashing right in our face as and screaming, “you need a little bit of help and it’s okay!” We do not have to do things alone. We weren’t designed to take on so many problems and not have an outlet to release. 


Therapy comes in so many forms. Everything from peer counseling, life coaching to psychiatrists. We all have different needs and the fact that we have all these diverse methods available, something is bound to fit. I hope this piece finds you all well. 

Her•Story

Her•Story

I’ve noticed something. Women are celebrating eachother more and more these days. I like it. Coming from an adolescent youth where I had plenty of poorly managed friendships and not a whole lot of trust in general, I’m very happy to be a part of a community that is driven by supporting one another.


Being around creatives is magical. The conversations are full of healing and powerful language. I can’t really recall a time in my life where I have felt so inspired to share and embrace others which such vulnerability. For a larger part of my life I hid how much I loved all things art.


That only lead me to a place where I didn’t know who I was anymore. I was trapped inside this body looking to others for validation, for permission to move. I thank those individuals. Without them, I wouldn’t have found my way back to the person I was always meant to be. Me.

I am not my trauma. I am not my pain.
I am all that I choose to be.

I lift that woman up and wish her the absolute best life. Because after all it takes a hell of a person to bask in creativity and make something beautiful to share with the world. Here’s to the makers, artist, writers, painters, musicians and more – I dedicate this poem to you.

What does my love look like?

Is it safe? Is it warm?

The reflection of it sometimes feels cold like the surface it beams from.

Realizing the story of my mystery all of a sudden, is not mine.

Strangers have played a role in giving me a tale. Desperately, I held it. Not even knowing what of it.

Where do I find my story? The one written just for me?

Chasing it down like the shadows chase the sunset. Stretched and dark, fading into the night.

Who do I confide in, about the way that  I love?

My love story is abandoned and hiding from the light.

Until the steady beat of my yearning heart; is my favorite song.

Until I no longer feel shushed by the thoughts of being wronged.

Until I sing my praises with notes of joy.

This indescribable emotion is an old abandoned cabin, blanketed by the tallest towering trees.

Hope lurks in desperate need, to find it’s way in.

It seeps through the branches and begins to break through, rejoicing in celebration.

Light finally emerges.

Take extra care.

Build with grace and restore in faith.

My story is not mine until I address my HERstory.

– Akilah Oni

Walking The Line of Authenticity

Walking The Line of Authenticity

Each being will walk a different life path created with a special footprint to help guide our marches through the steps it will take us to achieve our dreams. Every design is custom made for the individual and who needs to experience their own specific journey.

Isabel and I have been making so many connections and hearing from all walks of life on how long it’s taken them to get where they finally feel like they’ve found their niche or how long has it taken them to match their hearts with the others their creativity has been longing to connect with. Each person sharing that the time it took, varied anywhere from a month to 6 years. When you think about it, it’s actually really motivating because so much time is spent in judgment of what others are doing. Then one could say, you’re really not looking out for others with love or you’re not trying to be your most authentic self. The other day we talked about how no one has really subscribed to our blog, yet. Which is okay, because while we are growing, it’s slow and steady. That is exactly what the universe set out for us to experience.

We started quite a few months before December 1st of 2018, but that was the day we introduced ourselves as Blooming Dreamers. It was so exciting, adrenaline was pumping because, dammit we did it! We took this blog off the ground and we were diligent about it. All the other times we tried to work on projects, talked about working with one another, this project is actually happening. I’ve been looking around and seeing these ads through our Instagram feed on “how to become an influencer ” and not gonna lie, my first thought was sweet another masterclass let me see how much money this will cost. Immediately thought to myself, wtf. If I keep getting sidetracked by everything that is put in front of me instead of focusing on things that align with Blooming Dreamers, it will be very hard to get things accomplished. I’m enjoying this part of the process. When we are ready, the stars will align like stepping stones into the next chapter of our growth. I want to do it as our most authentic selves. We found our stride, have proven that people can work together and do it graciously – for a vision that they believe in.

It’s been an extremely rough week for me but through all of this, one thing that I have learned about ‘labors of love’ is, they produce light. When you’re having a hard week, remember that there are just things that you specifically will have to go through. They most likely won’t be your favorite experiences but because you are always moving with love, you’ll be able to embrace and appreciate the process. You will find methods to cope. You will find the team that you need to support you. You are going to find the tools and resources that you will deem most valuable. Whatever level you are on, whether it’s a personal project or the creative career of your dreams, make it happen. Your journey depends on it.

V. 1 There’s A Meeting At Broad Room

While we have been stumbling around trying to build a brand. These broads had it all figured out. So figured out, that they had the perfectly designed outlet for our first big project as Blooming Dreamers. Welcoming us with open arms and providing a space for our creativity was generous, we really couldn’t ask for much more! But it just so happened that the Universe saw fit that we all connect on an even greater level.

Amateurs could never do this well interviewing without such a duo to highlight. Claire and Shevaun are your next girl crushes. From humble beginnings to shared success; we cover it all. Snag the earphones so you don’t miss a beat.

broad room

A Beautiful Sick Day

A Beautiful Sick Day

I strive to have such an intense and profound relationship with my entire being, just so that I can anticipate my every need. Being able to quickly decipher what is missing from your balance physically and emotionally is a skill that takes practice, and absolutely essential to your survival and wellness. There is a lot of listening and feeling going on when honing this skill. I’m not all the way there yet but I amaze myself on the fact of; when I come through, I come all the way through.

A few weeks ago I came down with a cold and I just knew a sinus infection was in my future, it was just a matter of time. My husband and I had plans to go away for a weekend to an office holiday party/romantic weekend. However, just a day before my toddler fell ill. We packed him up and brought him along for the ride. Resting in a hotel room is only bound to create a prime environment for a giant Petri Dish. While I could feel the effects before we made our way back home, I was doing everything in my power to slow it down. Zinc, Sudafed, herbal tea and lots of water.

The work week came and by Tuesday, at 10 am – the alarms in my head were going off. “Get out!” Within 5 minutes I was closing down shop, off to The drug store for the essentials; vitamin C, tissues, ibuprofin and saline rinse. Within the hour, I had a fresh pot of veggies going and chicken baking in the oven. I was getting ready to eat the best chicken noodle soup I have ever made in my life. Celery, carrots, onions, garlic, two types of broth, olive oil, seasonings, noodles…. and chicken.

It wasn’t until just a couple years ago I discovered turmeric was the secret ingredient in making this soup go round. Add some cracked black pepper and garlic; you just made yourself a superfood. A home made meal full of warmth and nutrients – is filled with love, care and healing.

So many issues we face today surrounding our health involve what we eat, or even what we leave out of our diets. I personally am coming to realize how much we can really help our bodies and our minds with a little peace and some food laced with rich vitamins and minerals. Do yourself a favor and start with your gut. Your whole system will thank you for being so mindful.

Floating High

This past year I have finally recognized how committed to my growth I am. At moments it feels like a high school relationship that began with a slow dance and others, a 32-year-old marriage that has finally found its stride. My husband has been instrumental on this journey I have found myself on. One of the things he brought to me was floating. The spa is located in my old stomping grounds, which holds a lot of nostalgia for me. That’s right – down the street from Immaculate Conception, around the corner from 4th Ave park and smack dab in the middle of Broadway.

“In this stimulant-free environment, gravity, temperature, touch and sound drop to nearly non-existent levels. 1,100 lbs of dissolved Epsom salt in 10 inches of water holds your body effortlessly on the surface, removing all pressure from your muscles, joints and bones. At the perfect temperature, the water around you exactly matches your skin temp, causing you to loose connection between where you end and the water begins. With no body to attend to, your mind is unleashed to explore and expand untouched depths of consciousness and relaxation.”

-Capital Floats’ website

He’s been so many times that I thought, “okay – this has to be good if he keeps going.” I didn’t research it, just booked and showed up. Surprisingly, I showed up at 8:15 AM already in a very zenful state. I say surprisingly because weekday mornings are full of chaos and commuting for me, which for me are recipes for the road rage I have been working on managing. Amber was the person to greet me that morning and I’m thankful that she is an empath because she served me with the same energy I was giving and that level of thoughtfulness is greatly appreciated. After my tour, I found myself in my private room naked and in love.

Image courtesy of Capital Floats

I took a warm shower to rid my body and hair of excess dirt and oils. Then, I opened the door to my chamber. Ya’ll, let me tell you technology has just come so far. I opted for the low frequency spa tones and blue light over the dark and silent space. But, I plan on going back so many times I will have tried something new every single time.

Once I got used to the buoyancy of the water, I was able to easily recline and began to float. Eyes closed I was daydreaming about what other sensations would be comparable to this – swimming in the ocean, gliding through space or a child being thrown in the air. It took some time for my brain to settle and stop making to-do list but I actively pushed them out so I could enjoy the experience. I felt like a mermaid. I closed my eyes and felt like I was traveling dimensions. The weightlessness of your body allows you to do things and experience them pain free. For instance, I’ve had a pain in my lower back since i’ve had my baby. Something told me to arch and release until I felt better and it was better than popping an Advil. Your brain and nervous system are thankful to you for letting them handle the situation. I followed suit with other little aches I didn’t even know bothered me until now.

Halfway through, my senses were extremely heightened. I could hear things very clearly, as if I wasn’t under water at all. My body got warmer and I am pretty sure I fell asleep on the most comfortable bed I’ll ever be on. The dreams I had were vivid and thought provoking. Many things were going through my head at the end. I was enjoying this warm weightless feeling but I also couldn’t wait to get out and tell the world about floating.

This was such a wonderful experience. I’ve finally had a couple of days to reflect, and here is what I would recommend and do differently next time:

Meditate – Identify what your intentions are before going in. My intentions were to take better care of my health and nurture my business.

Journal – Write it out the night before or day of. Mike calls the thoughts that rapidly surface and keep you from focusing, Monkey Brain. I was having a lot of disruptive thoughts. Everywhere from my last meal to going back to work in a week.

Sedate – Maybe this is a place where you want to be alert and in the moment. I did that, I don’t want to do it again. Whatever you decide to use to relax, do it. The facility has tea and CBD oil on hand.

Travel Light – I arrived with not 1, but 2 bags. I’m gonna tell you what I had so you understand you do not need anything. In my B A G S – whole makeup kit, rose oil, rosemary water, new change of clothes, shoes, body spray, lotions, lap top, journal, planner and purse.  You are going somewhere to feel free and lifted. Do not go in there the same way you come out; weighed down.

Have Fun Guys, I’ll see you there. Float on!

http://www.capitolfloats.com/benefits-of-floating/

Post Float Room @ Capital Floats Image: BD Kila

Ground Zero: We Forsee Magical Growth

Ground Zero: We Forsee Magical Growth

As we’ve mentioned before, one of our missions is to bring together people in an effort to build community. The Blooming Dreamers are launching off our ‘Featured Dreamers’ section with us as the guinea pigs. This was a lot of fun and a huge learning experience. We are already scheduling interviews and fine tuning our platform so that we can bring you pure quality interactions once a month. Stay tuned, please enjoy the read. We may even get some vlog bloopers up for your entertainment.


Akilah: What is something you wish older generations did with or for you?

Isabel: Whew, teach me how to manage money.  Granted, my older generations weren’t taught much; we know the economy has changed but you know they did what they could. They didn’t teach me enough.

Both ladies sip their  PBR simultaneously *

I: What about you?

A: Okay, well I would love to say that they paved the way for me but I felt a little lost along the way. Not only with finances but school, friendships, family relationships, and business. Now that I’m a mom, I do get help – I just wish the things with motherhood were more openly discussed with people other than your gyno and your girlfriends.

I: Oh ya! Seriously. Next question, where do you see your project and your company in the next 5 years?

A: Where do I start?! EVERYWHERE! I’m serious when I say, this is for us and everyone around us. Right now, I have the energy to take on the world. I don’t just want to be a blog and an Instagram account. That is stupid. I want to provide a service, embrace people and love on them. I may be a product of the Bay but I grew up here in Sacramento and this is the education system I came from. I’m giving back. Where do you see us?

I: I see us building this amazing community, which is pretty small right now. And a lot of you out there don’t even know you are apart of this. I think potentially we will have a space that feeds the minds and the souls of everybody, not just the women. Families, men, kids, everybody. I’m ready for the next one.

A: How does/did not having a sacred space affect your well being?

I: I have a personal anecdote. Back when I started dating Neko, I did not have a place to call my own. I had to put all my stuff in storage and I ended up crashing on Neko’s bed. For 7 months, I could not find a place to live! I finally found one, moved out for 5 months and only to move back in, again.

A: Were you trying or were you snuggling?

I: Both. But in that process, I realized I didn’t have a space to call home. I lived out of a back and everything I would have surrounded myself with to make it feel more like home was in a storage unit. It was depressing. It’s discouraging but it makes you push harder.

A: I don’t have a sacred space. I guess my sacred space is in my car, where my music is. It’s taxing I find I lash out when I’ve hit my brink, or I pack up all my stuff and run away but not for long because I have a 2 ½-year-old. I take on everyone’s problems if I can and then I find my allegorical suitcase is full of things that do not serve me.  I feel like having that space would help me; tidy up, release and breathe. I’m working on it.

I: I like it. How do you exercise self preservation?

A: We just loaded that one. We don’t have any self preservation!

Isabel is bent over laughing at this point. Now we are both drummed up into a maniacal hysteria*

I: Drinking this beer, using this camera. Going inward.

A: Okay, I loc’d my hair. That’s self-preservation. My tattoos. My painted toenails.

I: OOOO.

Shows off her painted nails*

I: Christmas Colors!

A: We are exercising being grateful right now.

I: What is your greatest tool to help you tune into your higher frequencies?

A: Easy, large bodies of water that I can dunk my head in. I like to swim. If you know my son’s name, you would know how much I love water.

I: I do two things. 1 – I travel, it helps me reset. I come back Zen’d out whether its a day trip or another country.

A: That’s a big tool. Nice.

I: The other thing I do, going inward once again – I do card readings, cleanse my crystals and burn some incense.

A: You had good answers, mine was very short to the point and get out of my face.

I: But you knew your answer and I had to think about mine. Ready?

A: Yup, Last one! Where is self-care in your schedule? And what do you do?

I: Once a year, I get a tattoo. I would show you the last one, but then I’d have to take my pants off. They are the ultimate collaging of life experiences.

A: Yeah, we’re totem poles.

I: Also, when I’m riding my bike – I’m listening to music, looking at trees and singing my heart out even though I can’t breathe.

A: It almost eliminated itself out but, whenever I have time. I journal. One of the things that I’ve told myself – use the pretty things. I have to tell myself to do this because I will not use these things. I think what I am writing or what I have to say needs to be perfect in order to do so.  But, I’m really wrong in my thought process.

I: This is us signing off.

A: Salud.