Since the last full moon I’ve been sleeping so deep, I wake up with migraines. Completely agonizing physical pain represented by undesirable places while my eyes are closed tight and my mind is lost in the same maze every time I dream. Giving literal meaning of the phrase ‘hard-headed’.

I tend to move fast through life; chasing ideas my heart wants to transform into reality. The problem with moving at that pace is, of not careful – you are more likely to fall down if you aren’t paying attention. Paying attention to your tired and weary self that is in desperate need of some rest and reflection.

Which sometimes leads to over committing, not saying no when it’s in our absolute best interest, FOMO; seems to be a generational plague that has fallen over us because we are all too afraid of falling behind in the race. Riddling us with anxiety and chasing us away from accepting present moments.

While moving fast I have fallen out of some good habits:

I’ve stopped journaling because I don’t have time.
I don’t exercise anymore because I really need that extra 30 minutes of sleep in the morning(which turns into 60).
Our home is less tidy at the end of the night even though it drives me crazy.

It’s these things that have me working harder at taking back ownership of my life and standing in my truth.

This is literally one of the most powerful stages of growth I’ve experienced. I’m challenging myself to observe things through a different set of lenses. For instance; I find that I am a person who would reject interactions with those people who just weren’t on the same frequency as me. You probably won’t think there is anything wrong with that. In most times I would agree, there’s not much the matter with it. But I’m trying to switch my method a little and face that fear of the unknown; the possibility of conflict or rejection. I have to say, it is far less stressful to face it than to keep thinking about it and let it grow to a sizeable problem that you have no control over and ultimately turns into something you had no intention to create.

In these dreams I’ve mentioned, is where I’ve been confronting some of the biggest obstacles that have been eating away at my not only my psyche but my daily life and my relationships. I was planning on keeping the dreams to myself but if you know me… well then, there’s no point in me pretending to not have skeletons sitting right on my living room couch.

It is a conflicting space when being happy to pursue a legacy you chose out of the pocket of your heart, yet worry about not spending enough time with family and taking an interest outside of your own. I don’t take care of my health – mind and body – the way I should. I miss books, really good bendable, smelly, wordy books. I lose really important things that create more bills and unnecessary time spent. I’ve stopped telling people about it because they laugh, and for me it’s a serious fucking problem. I spoke out loud weeks ago that I desire to be more mindful, my dreams have been forcing me on to that path.

You are going to want things so badly that you will do anything to obtain them. As you manifest and create the life you want, it is an absolute must that you seek balance through that process. Seek balance to help you stay rooted. Feet firmly pressed to the bare ground and soul light in weight so you have the greatest vantage point of where your journey leads. Without that type of awareness, one would go nowhere very fast.

Breathe deep. Dream often.

Vol. 4 Star Quality

Josiah Gonzales, Featured Dreamer and avid renaissance man. If anyone knows how to chase dreams and tackle them down, it’s this guy. Blessed are we to be the ones he embeds his big brother wisdom on. Glad are we that he is our first male dreamer. As a designer of all things in his life – Josiah gives us a personal look into his cool demeanor and how he’s taken charge of the things he loves.

Rooted

Last week, I was in one of my favorite happy places communing with a group of beautiful women and a conversation I wasn’t even aware I needed to have arrived in our space. A conversation around showing up for yourself, growing out of self-love in a new present feminine kind of way. We were all wanderlusters of some measure who had looked for the place that felt like we were connected, like that place wanted us back as much as we wanted it.


I finally realized through our profoundly generous  exchange of stories, through everyone’s  eyes and hearts; that home is what you make it. These feelings extend to sentiments around community and career; places where you pour your self into others. It’s how you choose to mold your surroundings and I think for such a long time, I was so unhappy because I felt like things happened to me and I wasn’t in control of those events or the people I felt were causing them. So in certain ways, I kind of shut off or cut off relationships just because I knew they weren’t serving me. Some of what I did, spot on wouldn’t change a thing. Others, I wish I would have explored healthier ways of disconnecting because the emotions connected to those instances left me angry or disappointed. Making it a little harder to heal or regain the confidence it took to hold my head high. I finally find myself in a place where I am elated with the work I’ve  done and can start knocking on those doors that hold possibilities for me.


Possibilities foster hope. This statement alone brings a sparkle to my heart and butterflies in my tummy. I am looking at myself and my surroundings with new lenses. Falling in love with being able to recognize goodness and purpose. I wasn’t taking the time to acknowledge my growth. I hear about it, I see it but I didn’t take the time to be thankful for this favor I’ve been blessed with.


I understand fully and accept that home is what you make it and it starts from with in. I have so much gratitude for new friendships and mentorships from an unlikely people that want to see me win. It’s reciprocity for me showing up with good intentions and surrounding myself with genuine connections. I am seeing that no matter what, your happiness comes from within.  I’m able to move with a little bit of peace and a sound mind. Being rooted from within feels good.

Home was and always is, within every single one of us.

Breaking Barriers: The Beauty Edition

want to tell you all how transitioning my hair to it’s most natural state helped me remove and break barriers that I had been trying to get a hold of for years.

Simply put, I want to tell you all how transitioning my hair to it’s most natural state helped me remove and break barriers that I had been trying to get a hold of for years but I just couldn’t make any headway. 


Let me start by explaining what transitioning really means in case this is a new term. A lot of women with curly, kinky hair go through a process of relaxation to get soft straight manageable hair. This is called a relaxer, or most comedically known as ‘Creamy Crack’. Less time doing your hair, no one makes fun of you in school, and now you fit the beauty standard set by society. But, what does this do to some people? Or more pointedly, what did it do to me?


I got to a point where if I didn’t have hair extensions or relaxers – I didn’t know what to do with myself. It became my costume. I even had ridiculous thoughts like if I didn’t look on point, everyone was going to talk about me and I was gonna be miserable as a result. You know why? As a kid some really close friends did exactly this. So at 14, I established a learned behavior about how I presented myself to the world. 


I took these behaviors with me in my professional carrier. Always hiding this big secret. One time I was told I looked like Beyoncé. I laughed so hard out loud because I thought it was the most ridiculous thing. Inside, I said “hells yes”. The world was sending confirmation that I looked like a package. Why did I need that validation from people that don’t know my heart? Or my story? I had no idea. I just knew for a long time that I wanted to be pretty. And pretty looked like everyone else, to me.


Fast forward to a new job. Where now my look was bringing me attention but not how I wanted it. You know, look beautiful but still be a wallflower. You don’t want anyone to say anything to you about it but just to see it is enough. That’s not how it was going. I had a male coworker who liked men so he didn’t give a damn about me in that sense, but he always made comments about my look. He gave his approval and disapproval whenever his mouth felt the urge. Next to him, was an older white woman who also felt the need to take this route.


By now, maybe even a little before them – I was starting to reject chemically processing my hair because I became a mother and didn’t want those chemicals in my body, let alone my child’s during an already high risk preganancy. I danced with the idea of what would happen if I stopped paying $$$$$$ (yes, a lot) for these things I’ve begun to associate with as improving my look?

I blew people’s minds when I walked in one morning with my natural hair. Some didn’t care,  some thought it was awesome and the two from above couldn’t not say anything:


“ I have a black friend, she has a hairstylist. Would you like their number?”

“Why’d you do that to your hair?”


Almost crushed at this point. But still standing. 


I went home and made a video saying I will not conform to someone else’s standards. 


Being on this journey, has built me up from the inside. I feel good about me. Finally, it’s not because I was trying to look like or be someone else. I started paying attention to myself. Discovering that my hair should be cared for with love, natural products and it will flourish. All of that has transitioned into the way I live life, the way I raise my child, how I support my husband and my family. 


I am thankful for being grounded in the best way that I know how and it being from a place of complete submission and authenticity to my truest self. This abundance I’ve been searching for could only have come from me finding my own way and not trying to blaze someone else’s trail. Going on a loc journey was everything I imagined and more. Even on my worst hair days, I still feel beautiful because there is so much more to me than I ever could have imagined. 


Be inspired to be your whole self.

Shedding Negativity with Spiritual Medicine

In an effort to do some spring cleaning, I went to a sweat lodge last weekend. A friend invited me unexpectedly and I went into the experience not knowing what to expect. The journey left me feeling at peace but also motivated by the spring energy or renewal and rebirth. I channeled my inner spiritual goddess, faced the physical challenges of visual depravation and pushing my physical body to its limits. I shed all the negativity that I had been carrying. I don’t know about you, but this was a hard winter for me, emotionally speaking so this experience was the most rewarding.

As someone who prefers to communicate visually, I leave these photos here for you to enjoy. I hope they peak your curiosity and you find your own way to clean out the proverbial closet because spring is here and it’s time to start anew!

Peace and love,
Isabel

V.3 She’s Got The Juice

Maker and Creative – heart, mind, and soul. Akilah Interviews her Co-Founding Bestie of Blooming Dreamers on her dreams and passions. Owner of Lebasi Photography, Isabel Gonzales shares her love for capturing photos through Environmental Portraiture and what she wants people to know about her relationship to her craft. Click the link below and follow us on SoundCloud.

V.3 She’s Got The Juice

Creating A Sacred Space

Spring is finally here so to honor this beautiful change in seasons I decided to create an altar. In the past I always had an unofficial altar: my prized possessions, small treasures and jewelry purposefully placed atop my dresser with photos of loved ones arranged with intention. I enjoy maintaining that space, it’s something that I’ve always done naturally, but I never took the time to reflect on why I did it. Now that I’m older and have found my interests veering more toward unconventional spiritual or energetic practices, my altar has taken on a new vibe.

Currently, I have a special handmade bowl gifted to me that holds all of my smaller crystals I’ve collected over the years, crow feathers I collected on a spiritual journey years ago in San Francisco, a Ganesh statue from Thailand gifted to me by an old friend, my oracle and tarot card decks, smudging supplies like sage, palo santo, abalone and fresh camellias, attributed to living in the Camellia Capital of the World; Sacramento, CA. Not only do all of these items you see on my altar have a deep personal meaning, they are objects and supplies that I use when I want to center myself, clear my mind or sort through emotional challenges.

Altar for Virgin de Guadalupe
Altar for Virgin de Guadalupe

Traditionally speaking altar making is a common practice among many cultures across the world. You may have seen altars dedicated to Asian or Indian deities in various restaurants or markets where incense is burning and gifts of sweets or fruit are placed on the altar at certain times of the year. Specifically in India, altars dedicated to Ganesh are commonly placed near the entryway of homes or businesses as he represents new beginnings and the removal of obstacles in one’s path.

In Mexico on the other hand, people build altars to honor the deceased. It is a beautiful tradition to build ornate altars in remembrance of those loved ones who have passed. This tradition is practiced during Dia de los Muertos, or Day of the Dead.

In the Celtic and pagan traditions honoring Ostara (Easter) or Spring Equinox, people create altars laden with fresh flowers, seeds, aromatherapy oils and fruits to set the intention of looking forward towards growth and abundance.

There’s no one way to create an altar and your altar can change throughout the year. Make it personal and set your intentions for your altar this spring. Feel free to leave comments and questions below and please share your altars with us here or on social media by hashtagging #bloomingaltars