Authentically Aligned Synchronicity

Let’s talk about building your entire self up organically; or what I also refer to as, “doing the work”. This is a practice, a practice of raw radical self-care that doesn’t come in the form of external gratification(or maybe sometimes it does but let’s focus on the soul). These are ideas that can sometimes be painful to explore. We tend to go through life shielding, escaping and evading. Avoiding all the truths we have to endure to find out what we stand for.

Discovering who you are and what footprint you want to leave in your community is crucial to finding your voice. We can chose to follow the beaten path and be left with the sad truth that we have not become familiar with the person that matters most in our lives, self. We see it everyday in social media or even in day to day interactions as we repost and share ideas that were presented to us but never taking the time to develop and assess what those ideas mean to us.

One of the best ways to start this process is by evaluating your own ideas and how they support you in your journey of creativity. From the very beginning of our thoughtful selves, it is the basis of imagination that shows us what things are possible through the most inventive ways of play. Teaching us how to solve problems, reflect on bigger and better possibilities; the driving forces in helping us to create over and over again an absolutely fulfilling life. Now does it make sense why your parents were hell bent on asking “how could you be bored!?” We are responsible for the light we bring to our own lives.

Our own imaginations are what builds our authenticity. It is the place in our minds where dreams exist in the most magical way. Only we can bring the moments to fruition. This is what makes us endearingly unique. We shouldn’t shy away from sharing that very eccentric part of us. It absolutely saddens me when I hear people say “ I don’t have a creative bone in my body”. I will forever believe this to be a lie. If we consistently compare ourselves to others, and their own ideas of what makes them special – we’ve already lost because we had the audacity to measure our own successes based on someone else’s blue print that we had absolutely nothing to do with. Authenticity starts and ends from within.

How do we support our own growth journeys as we start to bridge them with others? That my friends is alignment. A person who understands who they are, tends to make better decisions on who they come into agreement with. Whether it be in a friendship, intimate partnership, or business relationship. After all, how can one decide what’s best for them if they can’t offer that same reflection with self? It can be a difficult task to stay true to your own ethos; especially in such a comparative time. We all want to know what the next person is doing, just maybe they got it right better than all of us. W R O N G. They got it right for themselves. Then. And only then my friends, did their lives seemingly fall into a better alignment with their surroundings. You gotta do, what’s right for you.

Now. Let’s talk about the magic of synchronicity! I want to share a little anecdote of Isabel’s and my day last weekend:

It started off as a somewhat rough morning. Dealing with personal affairs and coming to the conclusion that we were losing steam with our ventures. No real motivation was coming to the surface. That didn’t stop us from setting out on our morning meet and great with someone we had been admiring and decided to approach about being apart of Dream Broad. What an experience! We had an amazing exchange, filled with hope, support and all of the gems we needed to push us into the next part of our day where we were going to be vending at the Sac Library downtown. We decided to stop off for coffee. Lowe and behold we run into another familiar face who’s divine purpose was to encourage us and give us all the props for what we have been doing. Primarily telling us, do not quit. Keep going. Off we went. At the event, we had a visit from one of our community sisters that was truly inspiring and encouraging. Out of that interaction came ideas for our next 2 events. Our day and hearts were completely full.

Keep thugin’ it out family. Take the time to build a relationship with yourself, so you can have stronger relationships in your community. It will lead to a purposeful life.

I Called, The Therapist Answered

A personal perspective on going to therapy.

The last few months have been a bit of a whirlwind personally and professionally. No matter what I did – I was obsessing over my decisions and experiencing all types of physical symptoms. My stress was growing and my body was paying the price. The two worlds decided to intertwine and it was less like two ribbons dancing in the wind, and more like two big rigs crashing into each other while speeding down a slippery mountain pass. Dramatic? I know. 


I made an executive decision to sit in silence for a minute and think about the things that were truly bothering me. I journaled, made list, read books and came to a solution. I figured it’s not acceptable to let my stress and anxiety run loose on the people I love. It was time to reign it in but I really had no clear direction on where to start breaking cycles. I called a therapist that my girlfriend recommended and it was the best decision I could have made. 


The very first meeting with her, I showed up and had no idea what to expect. The lobby was a 10 ft hallway that seemed to lengthen itself the longer I stood in the doorway trying to figure out if I was in the right place. She finally came out to greet me; tall, sweet and warm. The LMFT quickly gave me her speech about confidentiality and asked me why I came to see her. I smiled through my troubles the first five minutes and then cried the next ninety-five. 


I left her office with my next appointment already scheduled. Even though I took her all over the map of my thirty-two-year life journey and explained my dozens of speculations as to how I ended up right there in her chair, she gave me a short list of ideas and concepts to think about. I thought, “wow, what a relief”. I was finally able to share with someone ALL of my feelings.  Someone who was able to help me untangle knots and create some sort of line of reasoning and helped me find the words to build crucial language. The language I needed to communicate at work and at home. 


I started to feel different. I was looking at situations with new lenses. The things that were driving me crazy about scenarios at work, became puzzles that I was happy to sort out. The conversations I didn’t want to have at home seemed less intimidating. I was building my tool kit. Communication was one of the main fundamentals that were becoming sharpened. Somewhere between the end of week one and the beginning of my second week, emotions started to resurface and I felt ill prepared to face anything seemingly negative. 


My second therapy appointment was here and I didn’t want to go. I was ashamed that I was feeling sad and not proud of myself that day. Silly feelings when I look back on it, but the primary characteristic of my work ethic is being accountable. For way too many reasons to list in this edition, I’ve always worried about what people think. It translates in different ways but it manifests itself as a bitch fit or some other inappropriate form of expression when conflict arises. I was growing tired of that and knew it wasn’t an acceptable approach at working through things with my family or professionally. 


This time I noticed my appointment was more focused. Less homework and more acute in helping me get through some of those challenges that were coming up more frequently. Here I am a week later, and it’s honestly the best week I have had in such a long time. Despite more disappointing news in a couple areas, I’m dealing with unfavorable surprises better. The dynamics in my household are settling into some sort of normalcy and it feels really good to stop blaming outside forces for my unhappiness. 


Needing to speak to a professional about how to sort out the issues you are facing in whatever areas of your life, is not something to be ashamed of. I am speaking very loudly to proud women and minorities at this moment because for some reason we do not go. We do not go and some of our life stressors are flashing right in our face as and screaming, “you need a little bit of help and it’s okay!” We do not have to do things alone. We weren’t designed to take on so many problems and not have an outlet to release. 


Therapy comes in so many forms. Everything from peer counseling, life coaching to psychiatrists. We all have different needs and the fact that we have all these diverse methods available, something is bound to fit. I hope this piece finds you all well. 

V. 2 What About Your Friends…

Here at Blooming Dreamers once a month we like to showcase people in our community who are sharing their love and their light through their work. For the month of February, Black History Month, it is our privilege to introduce you to a longtime friend, a woman for the people, Eryn Reeder. Have a listen as we discuss her journey becoming a therapist, her unique perspectives on mental health maintenance and self-care.

Website: http://strengthtogrowcounseling.com
Email: ErynReeder.LCSW@gmail.com
Instagram: @strengthtogrow

What About Your Friends…